Understanding Flying Monkeys
If you have ever be in a relationship with or done business with a narcissist, chances are that you have come into contact with a Flying Monkey. Flying Monkeys is a term used to describe those people in the Narc’s life that perpetuate, defend, and carry out abuse on behalf of, and often at the direction of, the Narc. In psychological terms, it is called “Abuse by Proxy.”
Encountering these people perpetuates gaslighting, amplifies smear campaigns, and can wreak emotional and financial havoc on you.
These are the friends, employees, co-workers, associates, and even bosses, business partners, or attorneys of the Narc.
There are three basic types listed and described below:
The Believer
The Conspirator
The Narc Squad
The Believer
The first type may be just like you, an empath. This is The Believer. The Believer takes everything the Narc says as truth.
They believe every victim sob story. They often subconsciously ignore lies and red flags to protect themselves and the toxic bond they have with the Narc. They can even be Trauma Bonded to the Narc especially if they are romantically involved.
The danger of The Believer lies in the fact that they often say or do things (separate from the Narc) that lead you to perceive them as kind and understanding individuals. You often don’t see them coming until it’s too late.
The Conspirator
This Flying Monkey stands to benefit from conspiring to damage the Narc’s target.
Often this is money or status driven. They know the abuse is wrong but they continue the pattern to protect their own position/authority or their stream of income (Many Narcs are CEOs, high powered executives, high ranking military or police officers, or “leaders” in a company or sales team which gives them control of other people’s income).
This Flying Monkey is dangerous because they are willing to break ethical codes and laws out of a need to protect themselves and they are often on the Narc spectrum...which leads us to our next Flying Monkey...
The Narc Squad
The Narc Squad represents the group of other Narcissists that comes to the Narc’s aid when their target is determined.
You typically don’t see these people until it gets really nasty with the target clearly and boldly printed on your back. It seems that a Narc would not be able to procure another Narc to do their own bidding, but they do because of the same reasons as The Conspirator. Money and status lead the Narc squad to rally behind the Narc. The difference between The Narc Squad and The Conspirator is that The Narc Squad sees nothing wrong with the abuse. Though they are often acting out of greed for money, status, and power, they also identify with The Narc and will expect the same treatment if they find themselves threatened.
The danger with this one lies with their own power, intelligence, and resources. These people are often either more narcissistic than the Narc you’re dealing with or they want to be more narcissistic than the Narc you’re dealing with. They’ll support the Narc to great extents and their resources are nearly endless.
If you’ve found yourself in the middle of negotiation or litigation with a Narc, you’ve likely seen these Flying Monkeys come out of the woodwork with a mission to smear, devalue, and emotionally/financially desecrate you. Sadly, they were there all along. You may not have seen the triangulation and trauma they were wreaking on you at the time, but now their actions don’t require them to be discreet.
Please comment below with ways you’ve been able to combat Flying Monkeys or drop a 👍🏽 if you’d like more posts about how to rid your life of these toxic abuse enablers.
#survivingnarcissism #narcissist #selfcare #growth #toxicrelationship #toxic #growth #power